Can marriage counselling really work?

Photo by Timur Weber

The short answer? Yes, but only under the right conditions. Marriage counselling can help couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and resolve conflicts—but it’s not a magic fix. Its effectiveness depends on the couple’s commitment, the therapist’s approach, and the specific challenges being addressed.

If you're here, you’re probably wondering: Does marriage counselling actually work, or is it just another expensive conversation? As a psychologist with a background in research and clinical work, I want to break this down in a way that’s both research-backed and accessible.

Does Marriage Counselling Work? What the Research Says

Studies suggest that 70% of couples who engage in therapy report improvements in their relationship. However, long-term success rates vary.

So, why does therapy work for some and not for others? The truth is that marriage counselling isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Success depends on factors like the couple’s willingness to engage, the skills of the therapist, and—perhaps most importantly—the therapeutic approach used. Some methods are more effective than others, and selecting the right therapist with evidence-based training makes a significant difference.

Why Do Couples Seek Therapy?

Couples usually don’t consider therapy until they’re experiencing serious challenges. Some of the most common reasons include:

• Breakdowns in communication that lead to repeated misunderstandings

• Unresolved conflicts that turn into long-term resentment

• Betrayals and trust issues, including infidelity

• Financial stress, which can put strain on any relationship

• Cultural and value-based differences in intercultural romantic relationships

For couples in intercultural relationships, the challenges can be even more complex. Differences in communication styles, family expectations, and even external societal pressures can create tension that, if unaddressed, leads to deeper relationship struggles. This is where intercultural marriage counseling or intercultural couples therapy can be particularly helpful.

Not All Therapy Approaches Are the Same

One of the most common mistakes couples make is assuming that all therapists use the same methods. In reality, some approaches are far more effective than others.

Research-backed methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method have been shown to improve long-term relationship satisfaction by strengthening emotional bonds and teaching effective conflict resolution. On the other hand, more traditional talk therapy approaches that focus solely on problem-solving often fail to address deeper emotional issues, making them less effective for many couples.

Finding a therapist who specializes in evidence-based approaches significantly increases the chances of success.

Challenges in Intercultural Relationships: Can Therapy Help?

Couples in intercultural marriages or relationships often deal with unique challenges that require a more tailored approach in therapy. Some common difficulties include:

• Different communication styles—one partner may be more direct, while the other prefers indirect communication

• Family and societal pressures—extended families may have differing expectations regarding marriage and parenting

• Religious or cultural conflicts—differences in traditions and values can cause strain

• External discrimination or stereotypes—some couples face judgment or bias from others

A therapist experienced in intercultural couples therapy can help partners navigate these differences by fostering understanding, improving communication, and building strategies to manage external pressures.

Final Verdict: Can Marriage Counselling Work?

Yes—but only if both partners are actively engaged in the process. Therapy isn’t a quick fix, but when the right methods are used, it can rebuild trust, improve communication, and strengthen emotional connections.

If you’re considering marriage counselling, take the time to research different therapy approaches and find a therapist with a strong track record in evidence-based couples therapy. A well-matched therapist can be the key to transforming your relationship.

Have you considered couples therapy before? What’s holding you back? Let’s start a conversation!